I got chris browned last night
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize