# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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