Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
