Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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