I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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