He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
