I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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