I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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