I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
