let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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