she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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