I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
