Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
