i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
