Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
