I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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