My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
