yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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