he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
