The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
