dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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