is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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