better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
