While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I touched a dick in church today
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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