We won't sleep together?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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