You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
