i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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