I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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