i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
