What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
