We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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