Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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