She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
