My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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