just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize