About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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