she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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