Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
