now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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