in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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