dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
