well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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