nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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