I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
