Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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