Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
