My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
