how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
