if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
