i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
wrigley field is MILF paradise
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize