People with herpes should wear stickers.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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