hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize