You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
