I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
