Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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