Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
