The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
