just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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